We humans forget what we really need to survive food (learn how to cook you save money and its healthy) believe me there are many other important issue that need to be addressed at the courts not drama, waste of money and so called justice. When you get a subpoena to show up for court regarding child support, you get a are you so and so? If, as a dad, you accept that you have not been managing the cost of similar freedoms in the Maryland family courts as to your child's mom, a Maryland father's rights lawyer can help. Ive seen this. Agreed!! The age of the children. the country needs to adopt no child support in majority of cases. Unlike the female, he has no escape route. Thats a laugh. Ive moved my son back and forth to college (3 hrs away) and not one time has his father offered to move him or assist. Im currently saving money to take her to court and get shared custody, because Im afraid of trying to get full custody which is just down right impossible, which in Texas it damn near is. New laws need to be passed in child support. My ex drives a 2015 new model car, I drive an 1989 toyota Camry. It defies logic on so many levels In my case, I am owed 30k plus in child support from the last 10 plus years. Its not about you and getting what you want. I have a great job. Sorry Child Support should be removes from the books period . Yes, there are some deadbeat dads out there. And for the record I know children are expensive hence the reason I am one and done. (Parent Alienation). Deal with it. Seriously if I end up in jail for failure to pay the full amount owed in Child support. We automatically assume woman are better parents and men arent good parents. The way it works now I get to see my youngest based on my exs work schedule. Ive always said and many women will disagree but if the father wants to give me money then so be it but if he doesnt o well. Products like vasalgel and the male pill are always kept five years away with no reason given. So just like every other tax-man I have ever met you are woefully uninformed and clearly do not have a gasp of real life sufficient to comment on real world matters. And I do the right thing for my child. We are being unfairly treated.. Im a contractor and had my exs lawyer trying to use my wages before deductions for the child support calculation As in before all the materials,fuel, and subcontractors I had paid out of it for the year. Lose a job? They will have to find a roommate or family to live with to cover costs. She also has full medical from me. If you ask for reasonable help the state will try to help, but asking for $0 if youre able to work and help is ridiculous. As it is I nickel and dime everything. His support order is $750 a month. But the judge wont do anything either because the laws are so concrete or the judge is a jerk. Under child support law, child maintenance must be paid to the parent with the main day-to-day care of the child. I grew up without a father and I know theyre better off with both parents in their life. Think about it. You and I both know those incidences are fewer and further in between, but it tells a good story doesnt it? Now, I pay support and I will be paying all the bills associated with the children, because ex refuses to work and cant pay that bill. The child support laws are extremely out dated . Lord knows he isnt supplying anything. I have always stood behind the fact that the state is prejudice against dads and is one of the main causes for deadbeat dads. There is also little evidence to suggest dads cant learn all of moms behaviors normally associated with child rearing. Especially if the exs make considerably more money than they do? I fully agree with that man. Men are allowed to get off way to easily. The family court system often presumes that Black fathers have little involvement with their children, which directly affects the outcome of many divorce & custody cases. The child support system needs to be abolished full stop. Then I got supervisor rights. I have no criminal history. I sooo agree with you on this!!! Joseph Cordell, Principal Partner, licensed in MO and IL only. No! I hope you both can work out your situations so your children dont end up paying the price. He apparently needs his Me Time after work to go to happy hour and smoke weed. Its almost as if high financial payouts are a secret personal reward for going through birth when in most of the cases, its actually us women that want to have children. They wouldnt modify when I was on unemployment for two years!! I want to use a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both my ex-wife and I contribute to in order to provide for my childrens needs in order to share the responsibility for providing for our childrens needs, but my family court judge wont let me. My kids have no future now thanks to the childrens right tp choose to cause all kinds of drama and litigation when they should be focusing on school and being kids. Laws for maintenance and alimony doesnt acknoweldge the financial status of wife, her education, her earnings. Some how the lord works in mysterious ways, I have still been able to be there for kids, two jobs and steady plasma donation. India even recognizes adultery by unmarried man who sleeps with a married woman. Instead, CSS has helped her collect half of my check for my entire adulthood. More importantly, I want her to have a good relationship with her dad, as I know too many women who have issues because of the kind of relationship they had with their dad, or lack thereof. Your situation is in the minority overall. Until the Child Support Performance and Incentive Act incentive payments (which are actually kickbacks) for collecting child support are changed to stop rewarding states for increasing the gross amount of child support collected, I dont see this happening. To bring the courts on board, the state collection office was authorized to make payments to the courts for hearing child support cases. She abused him to the point he stopped coming home and slept in his truck. For example if my rent is $300 dollars and my child support is $500 just between rent and child support by itself that is 9600. I thank God for the CS system, because without it my ex would not voluntarily give me one red cent for the support of our 2 boys. Childrrn that grow up with constant dipport but no contact, develop issues in most situations. I see it everyday. Grahams piece traces the history of the modern system and exposes how it is based on stereotypes and outdated notions and exposes why child support is so unfair to fathers. youve been served. Ex spouse should be accountable for the money!! SMH. You rock! Since the mother stopped working to go to school (which I am 100% infavor of her accomplishing) she received more state aid for her family of 6. Not having enough to make ends meet. Both parents should be supporting themselves and be able to support their children with their own income generally speaking. HERE IN SC, THEY GO ACCORDING TO YOUR INCOME AND HE MAKES MORE THAN ENOUGH, AND YET MAYBE MAKE A PAYMENT EVERY 2-3MONTHS. If he loses all his money which woman going to consider relationship with him? My dad was a terrible husband but was a great father. I took the charge to stand up for my right to visit my kids. This is a new time and the child support laws seriously need to be changed. Things are not equal right now, so dont pretend they are. As stated by someone above I am a money supplier and a babysitter. Something in the system needs to change . I really dont get it why should he have to pay more just because we decided to have a better income. Hes only paid child support 7 times. Im with you my wife cheated and im the bad guy?!? Thats hypocrisy, and insane. Giana Messore licensed in AR only Little Rock, AR. I dont understand why half your check is missing, I thought you said it was 25%. Ive had CSS employees tell me that its a horrible situation, and they feel badbut give me little advice. Now there are some women who see and have commented on gender bias against men and boys. However is that right? What if the husband doesnt want a divorce but is forced into it anyway? Thus, he must rely on the decisions of the female to determine his future. Billionaire William Buffett was asked recently, What is the MOST important to be successful in life? Just sad, he raised his kids til they were teenagers, was married to her for 14 years, until she cheated, and now he doesnt get to be there for them as mom used them as a weapon and still tells them he doesnt pay, so they send him not so nice emails. You can't reduce your child support payments unless you get in front of a judge. My oldest son gets 54% of my income and my other two children and myself get 46%. Now imagine that because one parent wrote themselves as primary in the custody agreement, New York State has agreed that theyre entitled to receive child support, and share the cost of extracurricular activities and child care while also being responsible for costs of living. There are support for the divorce side which wasnt helpful for my case. Each parent will do the best they can with what they have. When you find yourself in the judicial system, especially men of color, you are experiencing discrimination and institutional racism. Lisa although I understand from your perspective you share about single mothers. If you need or want help collecting child support, you may apply for assistance online from the Child Support Division of the Texas Attorney General's Office (OAG), or call the toll-free number (800) 252-8014. It just requires entering someones referral Code to join, so PLEASE use mine 42085JL619 in the CAPRA registration form, located on the bottom of the homepage at http://parentalrightsclassaction.com. In todays society men are weak if they report spousal abuse. Denying visitation is a contempt of court/warrent issued punishable offense. The more men on the system the more money the States gets from the federal Government. I was raised with the notion that if you dont set expectations that anticipate some results, then dont be shocked when the output is shabby. I know Im not good with all this court stuff but anyways they got me for contempt of court for not having that paper after trying to explain that I had brought it the first time well I have been making payments seems my first court appearance thankfully for family and my fianc but the judge is saying that isnt good enough and they want a paper from my doctor with certain information on it that my doctor is even confused about and all the judge keeps telling me is Im looking at a lot of jail time and I may look like one of these guys who has been in and out of the pin but Im not in a great dad and love my kids the only people they are hurting is my children and they dont see that and I cant figure any way out of this I am paying my support and a little extra on my support then Im ordered to it isnt a whole lot extra but Im making a effort and concistent and my court appointment lawyer that I finally got said that she doesnt understand what there issue is either its like they have it out for me because the way I look and when I told the judge I have been paying child support for 16 years he said that doesnt count for anything wth does it count for Im very disappointed in the child support system and my kids are going to loose a father because these courts screwed up and nobody is to blame at the courts when are they to be held accountable for there actions. There were many times when my husband went to pick up his kids, and either one or both of them wouldnt even be home, his ex having let them go elsewhere, even though it was his turn to have them. They have done everything to make her look like the worse mother in the world. But still always there for my kids. In the state of Wisconsin, if the mother has primary placement of he child and receives ANY kind of state aid, for her, the child in question, or children with another man, child support is required to be paid. And if you have had a child out of wedlock, while the woman who bears the child starts out with custody, fathers can . Im buying a house in cash in 8 years so it matters none. That is when CSE started. Child support may be ordered when the parents are separated, have never lived together, or are in divorce, dissolution of marriage, annulment, or in the midst of paternity and legal separation cases. Seems actually having to care for his boys for an entire week, every other week is too much to bear for him. Child support an child support court are all biaist. We need to have a more flexible child support system in place . Whatever the term, it is criminal. We see her once a month (3-4 days each month usually. Bruce you are right on time with this brother. Using absolutes makes you look less credible as nobody all the time, nor every person is the same. Here's how you can give Black fathers a better chance in court. As a defunct website named AnswerIsland explained it, both ordering sole custody with the lower earning parent and restricting the non-custodial parents access to their children increases the amount of child support collected, which increases the incentive payments (kickbacks) that the state receives for collecting child support. Imagine having to come home from work to cook dinner, clean, help with homework (and those science projects take some effort) and spend a little quality time with the kids before heading to bed, then waking up to do it all over again the next day!!! No matter what the circumstances are a parent should pay child support and the child should live a life style which they have become accustomed to. The first year in a half they wouldnt let my daughter see her children of her days. GUESS WHAT.STILL DOESNT PROVIDE ENOUGH! Woman are equal to men when it suits me. Our children are suppose to be the best of both of us. I can say hes father and i have a healthy relationship not that i wouldnt need the help.But my son is far more inportant that to put him in stress of seeing me and hes father arguing for money . Collect tons of child support. We dont mull and wait and wonder. Thought I would mention, there are numerous laws on the books, not statues, but laws! There are both good scenarios and bad. But today they are But then again. com, and i advice if you need his help too, . How dare u turn a page to help fathers again into a women victims bullshit. This is what you call corruption, plain and simple, It is sad really. Hmm so where do i go from here i found out she purchased a house back in 2006 for$277,000 when she did her financial report she said she was only getting 1000 a month, HMMMM now i start looking into more info, the case worker does not care, all they care about is getting my money, where do i go from here?? Dont believe me, read the Social Security Administraion Act, TITLE IV, Section D. So look at the facts: In most cases the mother gets custody and typically makes less than the father; thereby the courts order the father to pay support. Calling them, i was told although a payment plan was included in monthly payments, they will do whatever they want to get it sooner. but going back to your point is that I think if a women who has 3 kids and receives $287 a month then any other women can make it. The support pays her house note shes late paying all the time crushing my credit. I encourage our law makers to do whats right and truely make the necessary changes. Im trying to get my ex-wife to agree to use a child support trust account in the form of a shared checking account like this one (http://www.mediate.com/articles/if_they_can_do_parenting_plans.cfm) that both parents contribute to in order to provide for the childrens needs, but both our family court judge and her lawyer are balking. I do not receive support or my daughter. Which she occasionally changes without telling me. I feel that they need to fix this. My son will be 17 this year. Thats absolutely 100% correct , its just not worth it in this day and age . SInce the family of 6 receives so much state aid, I am now being taken back to court to pay twice the original agreed upon amount, even though in front of the Agency lawyer and judge the mother says she does not need me to pay more to support her other children. If your kids are young? My ex should be responsible 100% to support their own household. So if they are at grams perhaps she is helping him. The judge made me prove how much money I made. Why is NYS asking so much? she was at a loss for words. My X uses me as a cash machine. If Rose was a man your response would be completely different. The custodial parent is otherwise irresponsible, such as being unable to get the child to school, substance abuse, physical abuse, etc. 1. So hes supposed to keep paying while hes in prison? I have like 4-5 years of this nonsense to pay. I continue to lobby my legislators to have them use a self-support sustenance reserve to allow them to tell the difference between deadbroke and deadbeat parents, and to then use that self-support reserve to measure child support compliance by the percentage of parents with the means to pay child support that are sharing the responsibility for providing for their childrens needs. My key did not work, she changed the lock out I knew nothing about this. Also lay off the drugs. Women can choose abortion , adoption or selling the kid basically . If the relationship still existed, the interest would not, so what right does a state have to penalize you in this manner, making more of a financial hardship on you and your current family? As a mother of 3 i really dont care if there dad oays me child support. This is a problem in our society. It also boggles the mind that women who have full custody need daycare. NO detailed study has determined why the courts are making these such biased determinations, but its clearly cant have much to do with fathers vs mother characteristics, nor an objective assessment of whats best for the children, because there is virtually no strong evidence supporting female parenting over shared parenting. We also split any extra costs (medical, etc.) But not when it has varifilable proof that the fathers income has gone down . I know one day when my daughter gets older her curiosity will get the best of her and she will find me and ask why. It was not my choice to vilified but we keep a separate checking account for child specific expenses (sports, books, clothes, medical, school lunches etc.). The third was an elderly man who when asked what he was doing with his time since he was out of work, he replied, sittin up at the house, $300 perge, 30 days. So that must be all the women then. I now have to pay the same amount for 1 child as I was paying for two just 5 months ago. My step daughters are with me every other week 50 50. And on top of all this what about his biological needs, he needs a relationship too. So the guy will still have to pay!!!!! Many fathers just accept the notion that they are only entitled to 4 nights a month (every other weekend) with their children and don't realize they can get more time if they fight for it. His wife harrassed me nonstop all hours of the night, because she was a bartender who needed to emotionally abuse someone and I was her favorite victim. The only one that spends weekends with me is my youngest. The best things you can do as a father who is seeking sole or joint custody is to remain an active part of your child's life. I lived with my kids and their mother for the better half of 14 years had a 65k year job and a lovely home.Only to find out shes kicking me out and moving her 2 time felon lover.Went to custody court several times and was told that since I was a hard core druggie and alcoholic that my rights were fully revoked.100% fiction.She lied and I was ordered to pay 1500 per month.throughout the time she had the kids he and her lived solely on my income.I went balistic when I found out all the empty 12 pack containers of beer were bought with my support money.I called cs numerous times and was told that I was to have no contact with her or the children whatsoever.I lost my job and was forced to take a minimum wage job and they were still charging me 1500 a month and they would not adjust the payment sending my past due skyrocketing.it quickly went from 13k to 75k in short order.I had to move in with my mother so as to not be homeless.Come to find out my kids were both living with his mother because of all the fighting they did.I contacted cs and let them know and was told that I was not paying enough and thats as far as I got with them.Both of my kids were removed from her to go live with their aunt and I still had to pay their mother.Im now in debt over 100k and my daughter is 24 been in jail 10 times and is currently looking at 5 years in state prison.And my son had to be raised by his aunt and is 21 in college.Im still paying her 850 per month. 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